Sunday, June 01, 2003
11:44 PM || PROM '03 rocked. The site was beautiful, the food was good, the DJ was pretty good, everyone looked amazing, and I had a great time with my date Eugene and our buddies Jessica & Rex. I'm glad that mostly everyone I talked to had a great time. It seemed like it came and went all so quickly. It's so sad to see the seniors at their last high school dance together. When the last song came [Allure- Last Chance], you could hear so many people going "aww" and stuffs. It was quite saddening really. I can't wait til next year's Prom. It's going to be so much fun! Good job to us Juniors for planning such an unforgettable dance. And thanks to Eugene for being such a gentleman and an awesome date. =)
Is it supposed to be this difficult and painful trying to get over someone? I feel so weak. Whenever I hear about or see THEM together, or just him in particular, I wanna break down and cry. And today, out of nowhere, that's what I did. I guess I was reminiscing about the times we had together, and realized that I really really miss what we had .. and really miss him .. A LOT. I never thought that heartbreak would cause so much pain and misery. Now that I'm experiencing it, it's so much harder than I thought. I also realized that we had never gone to a school dance together at all this year, because our plans were to go to Prom together and have the time of our lives. Everything was going fine & dandy. But somewhere along the line, I screwed up. And the whole world crumbled around me. (or so it seems)
I'm such a wreck. I thought that 'moving on' would be a simple process. Boy, was I more wrong than ever. I feel my heart breaking into little pieces whenever I see him. Many times, I just wanna run to him and give him a big hug. Maybe I just miss all the things that couples do together. I want someone's hand to hold. I want someone with whom I can cuddle and kiss. I want someone to have tickle wars with -- as much as I hate being tickled, it's those moments when two people can really bond and form such a strong connection that you can't help but smile, no matter how pissed off you are at the other person. I miss EVERYTHiNG about being with him. Even those stupid arguments which never seemed to end. Blah.
I'm so weak. I'm so damn emotional. I hate this. I'm hurting so much that I don't know what to do. Sometimes, listening to songs that I can relate to helps with the process. These lyrics totally reflect what I am feeling right now. The song is sung by Bryan White.
Oh I shouldn't care or wonder where and how you are
But I can't hide this hurt inside my broken heart
I'm fighting back emotions that I've never fought before
'Cause I'm not supposed to love you anymore
A different song by Aaliyah called 'The One I Gave My Heart To' makes me want to cry whenever I hear it. Especially because it explains so much of what I wanna say. But nevertheless, it's a good song to listen to when you feel like you're the only one going through all this hurt.
How could the one I gave my heart to
Break my heart so bad?
How could the one who made me happy
Make me feel so sad?
Won't somebody tell me
So I can understand?
If you love me
How could you hurt me like that?
How could the one I gave my world to
Throw my world away?
How could the one who said I love you
Say the things you say?
How could the one I was so true to
Just tell me lies?
How could the one I gave my heart to
Break this heart of mine?
Tell me.
How could you be so cold to me
When I gave you everything?
All my love.
All I have inside.
How could you just walk out the door,
How could you not love me anymore?
I thought we had forever.
I can't understand.
How could the one I shared my dreams with
Take my dreams from me?
How could a love that brought such pleasure
Bring such misery?
Won't somebody tell me?
Somebody tell me please.
If you love me
How could you do that to me?
Tell me.
How could the one I gave my heart to
Break my heart so bad?
How could the one who made me happy
Make me feel so sad?
Won't somebody tell me
So I can understand?
If you love me
How could you hurt me like that?
How could the one I gave my world to
Take my world away?
How could the one who said I love you
Say the things you say?
How could the one I was so true to
Just tell me lies?
How could the one I gave my heart to?
How could the one I gave my heart to?
How could the one I gave my heart to
Break this heart of mine?
Tell me.
:: SiGH :: Love hurts. >:'\