Wednesday, June 11, 2003

9:18 PM || I haven't blogged in a while, so I guess I'm gonna recap what's been going on Michael Moon style. =)

SCHOOL; So basically school is out in 5 school days. It seems as if I had just entered Junior year with a sense of fear and anticipation with what was coming ahead (what with finally getting to experience what it was like to be AP classes -- and stupid stuff like that.) I've gotta say that this year has had its share of ups and downs -- probably the most 'drama' between friends happened this year. But among all the experiences collected this past school year, I have managed to figure out who are my 'real' friends and who are the ones just trying put on a show. This is definitely the year where I learned the most about people, love, family, and just life in general. Maybe it comes from all the hardships I've experienced throughout this school year. I really learned how not to take advantage of anything because so many other people have it much harder, and to learn to appreciate everything that comes my way -- even when it's difficult to accept things as they are. My grades aren't exactly where I want them to be, but I guess I'll manage. Junioritis has hit me hard, especially during the second semester when I should have been studying like crazy for APs and whatnot. I'm gonna miss the graduating seniors SO MUCH. I've grown close to a lot of them and wish them all the best in their futures. Their presence in my life (especially the ASB seniors) has had that effect on me and I look up to them. (I'll write more about these special seniors in a later post.) Finals are this week and next week. Thank goodness for APs, I only have to take Finals for Japanese, Trig, and English [only cause Cox lags!] *Sigh. Junior year is coming to an end .. let's all take a big sigh of relief.

SENIOR YEAR; It's coming, and I'm excited, yet horrified at the same time. I can't believe that we're gonna be the 'leaders' of the school and that we'll be outta here before we know it. High school sure is going by fast. Let's all make the most out of the time we have together and live everyday like it's our last. =)

LOVE; Oh what a wonderful thing it is. And what a painful thing it is as well. Yes, I do still love him. I don't know what it is, but there's something that draws me to him that is so difficult to overcome. Jay and Maryrose broke up recently for reasons which I think are reasonable to cause a breakup. What does this mean? I don't have a clue. It's tough to know that someone else's heart was broken by the same person who broke my heart. I know I've been hurt, and trying to make things work again is like putting my heart on the line again, vulnerable to the same hurt & pain which I have felt before. What's gonna happen? I don't have a clue. But somewhere deep in my heart, I'm hoping that he feels the same way that I do, and that maybe we'll take another chance at this thing called love. If only ..

[edit] i don't care what you say or think. i'm not gonna take anything off from what i wrote before. if you don't like it, then quit reading. simple as that. [/edit]